So I’m out back playing with my hot wheels. I have some two by fours laid out on the ground, and I build little ramps out of dirt to get my cars up onto these freeways. Well no point in have a freeway unless I can have a bridge, so I start to dig a hole in the ground so that I can lay one of the two by fours across so that I can have a bridge for my cars. Well being a boy of seven I decided my time might be better spent digging a hole to China, you know to see what is going on down there. So I’m digging and digging and I just keep on digging. Well not far down is a water pipe, but it’s the olden days so it’s made out of metal so I don’t hurt it, I just have to dig around it, which I do. So I’m digging and digging and digging. The pipe is in the way, but it’s no bother, I’m young and dumb.
Well I’m getting tired and have a feeling I’m never going to make it to China, so instead I decide that since there is a embankment behind our house, that I will dig down so far, then out to the embankment so that I can have a fort/cave to call my own. So I’m digging and digging, and the hole is getting kind of deep now, and that water pipe, it’s still there and it’s still in the way. Well to really dig now I have to get down in the hole and dig and dig. So after some time I really start to make progress, enough so that the water pipe is now above my head, but that’s alright, because I’m going to have the coolest fort/cave in the world.
Well I hear my mom calling, it’s lunch time or something, but I can’t get out. I can reach the ground, but the pipe for some reason is impeding my way out, I can’t get out, so I start yelling... “Mooooooom!” So she comes running and so do all of my brothers and sisters, and they’re all looking down at me. So I frantically tell my mom I’m stuck, I can’t get out because of the stupid water pipe and Jim, my oldest brother, is laughing, he thinks this is sooo funny. So My mom tells Jim to lift me out of there, so he reaches down and grabs my hands and tries to pull me up, but that water pipe is still in the way, there’s just no way out, I’m just not fitting now.
Jim then tells me, I’m gonna have to wait til dad gets home (laughing the whole time) and then he’ll get you out, and you’ll be in trouble! My mom tells Jim to quiet down and says it’ll be ok and asks where’s Johnny Robot, maybe he can help. So I tell her he’s around, just call for him. So my mom calls out for Johnny Robot and he comes running up... “Beep, boop, beep, yes mom? beep” So my mom tells Johnny Robot that I’m stuck in the hole because the water pipe is in the way, so without spending a moment to think, Johnny Robot flips his .357 magnum gun down and aims it at the water pipe and fires. BANG! hitting one side of the pipe which then bursts and water starts spraying all over, just showering me with water, and filling up the hole. Well I start to scream because I think I’m going to drown, “Get me out of here!” and Jim tries to pull me up again, but the pipe is still in the way.
With the water up to my knees, Johnny Robot fires again, and off drops the pipe, hits me in the head, cutting me. I’m screaming some more but with the pipe clear, Jim quickly pulls me out as the hole continues to fill with water.
Well we obviously turned off the water, my dad repaired the pipe when he got home, I was grounded for a week and Johnny Robot saved the day. And you know, if the weather is just right, you can still see that scar on my forehead.
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